Updated: Nov 28, 2020
Sis, I have been there too...
Confused, scared, in despair and overwhelmed in my career.
I HATED my job as a corporate lawyer. I was desperately unhappy showing up each day to a job that didn’t inspire me, motivate or light me.
BUT I was also too petrified to do anything about it.
I had invested years in my career. Paid my way into law school myself by working 3 part time jobs and studying at the same time. I had made my parents immensely proud by becoming the first lawyer in the family. I had built up my career to work on high profile landmark cases and projects including the London Olympics. I was on an upward trajectory.
How could I give this up?
Not to mention, if I did I would be a broke single mother of 2 with no main income stream.
Hmmm... na wa!
I was a woman living for others, defined by others and therefore dictated to by others.
So how did I get here now- happy, thriving and satisfied with what I do for a living now?
The first step was a breakdown. Literally!
It happened sitting in front of the judge presiding my case, where it all came out. Out of nowhere, tears fell uncontrollably from my eyes, my voice quaked and I could not go on presenting my case, because I was a HOT MESS!
A perplexed judge looked at me and said “perhaps you should go and put yourself together” and with that my case was adjourned.
But that was the beginning of overhauling my life and embarking on the journey of self discovery to figure out what I TRULY wanted.
It took an unhappy career to force me to ask “who am I and what do I want?”...
This was my purpose call.
My time to stop living out of the shadows of the dreams and expectations of others and to start living for me.
Here's where that journey took me...
I became a clown!
Seriously! I started a kid’s entertainment business and I ran a successful one in the UK for a short while.
I was a struggling single mother, an over-worked lawyer and needed something extra to pay my bills, while I figured out how I would find happiness in a career I wanted to love but just hated.
I had times in my life where I had no money to buy gas and electricity for my freezing home, and nights where I had to make my kids sleep WITH their winter jackets because our house would be that cold sometimes.
I have had HARD TIMES.
But here's something interesting to note....
Times often feel hard and unbearable when you are not living in your purpose or alive with passion, because there is no resilience.
A purpose-driven life builds resilience.
My purpose journey from a full time job as a commercial lawyer, single parenthood, being broke and clowning around taught me 4 lessons.
4 Lessons To Learn When You Are Stuck In Your Career.
1- hard times in your life will force you to either sink or swim. Being stuck in your problems is the equivalent to sinking. Your hard times are your platform and opportunities to think outside the box to get yourself out of your mess. Being stuck in your career is a catalyst for change.
2- No one is coming to save you. I Prayed for years for a man to come into my life and shoulder my burden of single parenthood. No man showed up. I couldn’t attract what I wasn’t willing to be in myself. This was a profound lesson to learn because I had previously made no connection to my relationship status and my career progression, until I realised that becoming the best version of myself not only meant being attractive to the right man, it also meant actually standing in my authentic self and saying no in general to anything that I didn't want in my life. That gave me boldness to say 'no more' to a job that drained my soul. I became a woman not afraid to truly go after her heart's desires.
3- Saying “I don’t know what to do” is a lazy cop out for the mind who is still living in victim mode. For years that was my phrase until I was bordering eviction from my home and risking loosing my kids to the social services department. THE ANSWER IS ALWAYS WITHIN YOU IF YOU ARE DESPERATE ENOUGH FOR YOUR CHANGE. When my diagnosed depression was clearly linked in part to my unhappiness in my job, it was clear that I did know what to do. I needed to find myself, my purpose and my happiness. And that is exactly what I did.
4- your purpose comes through action. At this point in my life, becoming a clown started to make me realise that my path as a lawyer wasn’t what lit me up. Connecting with other humans, making them feel good, and pouring light into them was what made me feel good. The moment of this realisation was connecting with a child at a birthday party I was entertaining at, and seeing her smile and delight at my playful antics that day, it changed my whole future trajectory that has ultimately led me here today- Life Coaching.
I don’t paint faces and dress like a Disney princess anymore for a living, but that experience opened me up to an innate creativity and to the deep realisation that connecting with people is one of my gifts. It showed me the power of self-discovery and the path to finding purpose.
Nothing in your life is a mistake.
I now coach women to help them unravel their mysteries, navigate their 'stuckness' and move through their lives with boldness to become who THEY want to be.
I share my strategy to getting unstuck and finding purpose in my life in my latest guidebook, THE ESSENTIAL GUIDE TO GETTING UNSTUCK IN LIFE.
You can grab a free sample of my guide here.
But, before you go, tell me, how has this topic resonated with you?
I would love to hear from you below in the comments section. 👇🏾